Murder, Loss, and Life as a Midwife in a Castle

Murder, Loss, and Life as a Midwife in a Castle

I’m so grateful that I overcame my fears of backlash and posted on social media that I’m offering past life regressions, because it certainly generated a lot of business for me! Not everyone believes in reincarnation, and I was hesitant to share that I’m offering these sessions because of what people might think, but it turns out there are more curious people than there are nay-sayers or people who are opposed to it, and I didn’t receive any backlash at all!

Just a reminder to stand in your truth and be yourself, no matter how weird or different you might feel and no matter what people might think of you. This has been such a rewarding path for me, and seeing the healing and enlightenment that has come from these sessions is one of the biggest rewards.

Carrie was another client who booked her session out of curiosity. She was one who responded to my posts about offering past life regressions, and provided me the opportunity to feel immense gratitude in getting to play a role in this experience with her. And as a reminder, Carrie is not her real name, just one I chose to protect her privacy.

When Carrie arrived from the cloud, everything was blank. Fortunately I have many tools that help my clients eventually “see” or experience something. I used some of these tools to help her, and finally images began to appear for her.

C: I think I get a flash of like… industrial era… like, tall buildings…

I encouraged her to let the scene unfold, and notice anything else besides the buildings.

C: Like horses… carriages… cobblestone on the ground…

J: Can you get a sense of who you are or what you look like?

C: I feel like I'm wearing black. I’m a woman. Old. I feel like… like a loss? I think I lost somebody.

J: Is that why you’re wearing black?

C: Yeah.

J: Do you know who you lost?

C: I feel like it was a spouse.

J: Are you standing outside or inside?

C: I’m outside.

J: Are you going somewhere?

C: I feel like I'm looking at a building, I think I live there?

J: Did you live there with your spouse?

C: I did.

J: Did you have kids or do you have kids?

C: They’re grown, I feel like I'm probably in my 60s? People are around me but I still feel alone.

J: Did you or your husband do anything for work that you recall?

C: I feel like it’s old… like maybe early 1900s type of time… I don't feel like I worked…

We decided to move to a significant event in this lifetime, but she ended up moving farther than expected.

C: I feel young.

J: Are you still in the same lifetime?

C: I don’t think so…

J: Can you describe your surroundings?

C: I think I'm in the country…

J: Are there houses nearby?

C: Just mine.

J: Are you a child or young adult?

C: I’m a child. Female. I’m wearing a white dress. I’m playing outside. My mom is there.

J: Is there anything significant happening at this time?

C: I'm just playing. I’m outside and my mom is inside. She’s cooking.

J: Do you have a good relationship with your mother?

C: I do.

J: Do you have any siblings?

C: I have a brother. An older brother. I feel like he’s going somewhere, like going to war or something?

J: How do you feel about that?

C: (getting emotional) Sad…

J: How does he feel about it?

C: Hopeful.

J: Do you know when that’s going to happen?

C: No.

J: But you know that it is.

C: Yeah. We don’t have a dad…

J: Did something happen to him?

C: He died.

J: So it’ll be just you and your mom when your brother goes?

C: Yeah.

J: What else are you experiencing in this moment?

C: There’s pieces of joy in being outside. We have a farm, with animals. We’re very alone though, we don’t have anybody else around us.

J: Does that make things hard out there?

C: Yeah.

J: Is there a town or neighbors somewhere nearby?

C: There’s a town down the road but I don’t think they like us very much for some reason.

J: Can you get a feel for what that reason might be?

Deep down we all know the reasons and the answers, but they’re blocked by our conscious mind and ego. In hypnosis, the subconscious mind is clearer and more accessible, but the conscious mind is still present trying to tell us things like, “This is silly,” “You’re not really seeing these things,” or “How can you possibly know this?” When that conscious mind pushes its way back to the forefront, I have ways to help quiet it and allow it to take the backseat so the subconscious mind can be heard.

C: I don’t know if I was… born out of… wedlock… or my father was married to somebody else… but… they don’t like us.

J: How does that feel?

C: Sad. I feel he does still come and see me though.

J: So your dad is still alive?

C: I think so…?

J: Does he live with someone else or have another family?

C: Yes, another family.

J: Do you know about how old you are?
C: About 8.

J: Is your brother your full brother or half brother?

C: I… I don't think we have the same dad…

J: Is there anything else significant happening in this lifetime?

C: No.

We decided to move to a new memory. Afterward she told me she was getting a bad feeling about where things were going there, and didn’t want to see what happened. This is just a reminder that you’re always in control during the session — she sensed something, and took action, and she wasn’t shown something she didn’t want to see. That’s a common concern when people inquire about Past Life Regression or Expanded Healing Hypnosis: they don’t want to be shown something they can’t handle seeing. The simple answer is, you won’t!

C: I’m in the woods… it’s dark…

J: Do you know why you’re in the woods?

C: I feel like I'm running.

J: Are you running from something or to something or just running?

C: I think I'm running… from something…

J: Are you male or female?

C: I’m male.

J: Can you get a sense of what you look like or what you’re wearing?

C: Um… I have dark hair. Short. I feel like I'm wearing… blue jeans… and a blue jean jacket?

J: Do you know how old you are?

C: Teen… teen? I think I'm out here with my friends, I'm just playing…

J: What were you playing?

C: I think we’re just chasing each other, through the woods.

J: You said it's dark outside?

C: Yeah.

J: Do you live nearby?

C: Yeah.

J: Is there a reason you guys are out here aside from just playing?

C: (sounding uncertain) I don’t know…

J: What if you did know?

C: I don’t think I know. I think I don’t know why I’m here.

J: Do your friends know why you’re here?

C: Yeah.

J: Why are they here?

C: I don’t think they’re here for a good reason.

J: And you don’t know what that is?

C: I don’t.

J: What made you decide to come out there with them?

C: I was told we were gonna… have a bonfire and drink… but we’re not doing that.

J: What are you doing?

C: I feel like I’m running from them now.

J: Are they chasing you?

C: Yeah… they knew something that I didn’t do.

J: Do you know what that is?

C: I don’t.

J: How are you feeling?
C: Anxious and scared…

J: Do you know where you’re running to?

C: I’m running to… like an opening in the woods? There’s house there… it’s… it’s not my house.

J: Do you know who lives there?

C: I think it’s an abandoned house.

J: Do you make it to the house?

C: I do. I lock the door, put a chair behind the doorknob.

J: Do they know you got there?

C: I don’t think so…

J: What do you do next?

C: I hide… in a closet…

J: How long do you hide for?

C: A long time… I don’t think they know where I’m at.

J: Move forward to when you’re ready to get out of that closet. Are you there? What do you do next?

C: I open the door and they’re in the room.

J: Do they know you open the door?

C: Yeah.

J: Then what happens?

C: They’re screaming at me. I don’t feel safe. Then they hit me… with a shovel?

I was concerned that seeing this would have a negative impact on her, so I started taking measures to make sure she was detached from the experience.

J: If you need to, you can rise up out of this scene and watch it from above so you don't have to experience it. What happens next?

C: I feel like they pick me up and take me outside…

J: Are you conscious?

C: No.

J: Are you in your body or watching it from above?

C: Watching it. There’s a place outside the house that goes into a basement, like a shelter that they throw me in.

J: Then what happens?

C: I feel like… they lock it… and put like the shovel through the holes so I can't get out. I’m not aware of what’s happening…

J: You’re safe in that place above, watching and observing. Do you ever wake up?

C: No.

J: Do you ever know what you did that made them do this to you?

C: I think it was about a girl? Maybe?

J: What happened with the girl?

C: I think they thought something happened but it didn’t… I think I die in there… I don't know…

J: Does anyone ever find your body?

C: No, nobody finds me. I don’t have parents, they’re both dead.

J: Who raised you?

C: My grandmother.

J: What happens next?

C: I think I'm found… I think… I think they found me. 

J: Did the boys ever get caught, that did this?

C: Yeah.

J: So what happens next?

C: I think I remember dying.

J: How’d you feel?

C: A little scared, and at peace.

J: Do you feel like this experience was supposed to teach you something or make you aware of something?

C: To not trust everybody, maybe? People who I thought were my friends aren’t my friends.

J: Was there anything about these boys that made you distrust them, maybe a red flag that you ignored?

C: We grew up together

J: Did you always trust them?

C: I did.

J: And there was never a sign that they would turn on you?

C: No. I don’t think one of them wanted to do it. 

J: What made him go through with it?

C: The other boy was bigger, and threatened him too.

J: Do you believe all people are like this?

C: No. I think they had a bad childhood.

J: That can make people make bad choices. Do you feel like you can forgive this?

C: Yes.

J: Is there anything else you need to know about this situation or learn from it?

C: No.

J: Do you want to move on to a different memory?

C: Yeah.

I move her forward with the suggestions of releasing any negative holds that experience may have had on her, and to only take with her that which benefits her in a positive way. She then came off the cloud into a new memory.

C: I’m by a castle of some sort. I’m a girl, with blonde hair.

J: How old are you?

C: I’d say 16?

J: What are you wearing?

C: A gown? Green. 

J: Do you live in this castle?

C: I do.

J: What’s your role here? What do you do?

C: I think I… I take care of… somebody here?

J: Do you know who?

C: Another young… young girl…

J: Do you know why you take care of her?

C: She’s sick. She’s having a baby. And she’s sick.

J: How did you get the job of taking care of her?

C: My mom had it, and I got it after her.

J: You learned from your mom?

C: Yeah. My whole family lives here too.

J: Are you like a midwife or a nurse?

C: I’m a midwife… 

J: How old is the girl that you’re taking care of?

C: 20s?

J: Do you know why she’s sick?

C: I think… I think childbirth I think…

J: Is she having the baby?

C: She… had the baby…

J: Is everybody ok?

C: The baby’s okay. She’s not. She’s having a hard time recovering.

J: What are you doing for her?

C: I’m giving her a bath.

J: How are you feeling in this moment?

C: Anxious. Sad.

J: What makes you feel sad?
C: She’s dying…

J: Do you feel you’re doing the best you can?

C: I do.

J: Is anyone there to help you?

C: Her husband’s there. He’s sad too.

J: Is there any other nurses or midwives there to help?

C: Yes, my mom. I have a sister there too.

J: Does she do this work as well?

C: Yes.

J: Does this woman live in the castle too?

C: Yes.

J: Does she have a role or a status here in this castle?

C: I think… I think she runs the castle.

J: So she’s important?

C: Yeah.

J: What happens next?

C: (sounding sad) She dies.

J: And then what?

C: We have a funeral.

J: How are you feeling?

C: (voice cracking, sad) Overwhelmed. I feel like it’s… beautiful outside…

J: Are you at the funeral?

C: Yeah. There are flags everywhere.

J: Can you tell what these flags look like?

C: They’re red. And gold. We’re walking.

J: Where are you walking to?

C: To the funeral. Everybody’s sad.

J: What happens next?

C: The baby… it’s older… I take care of him.

J: Do you like taking care of him?

C: I do.

J: What’s happening?

I ask this to help move things along during pauses.

C: I think I get married.

J: Do you still live in the castle?

C: I do.

J: What’s your husband like?

C: He’s kind. 

J: Do you guys have children together?

C: We do. A blonde little girl. Another little girl with dark hair.

J: What’s happening?

C: I feel like I… like I know them… We’re a very close family.

J: What do they feel like to you?

C: They feel like home to me… We’re happy here.

J: Good. What happens next?

C: I think we… we live the rest of our lives. (This session was done before I had microphones to help with the recording. Her voice had dropped very low and quiet, which is common during hypnosis, so I had trouble making out this line, but I believe this is what she said.)

J: Does the baby you take care of grow up there too?

C: Yes.

J: Does he stay close with your family?

C: Yeah.

J: What else happens?

C: I get sick. I’m old. My husband died.

J: How are you feeling?

C: Happy. I had a good life.

J: What happens next?

C: I feel like I die… with my children around me, by my bed.

J: That sounds peaceful.

C: (emotional) I’m sad to leave.

J: Were you ready to go?

C: Yeah… It was time for me to go.

J: It’s still hard though. Is there any part of that lifetime you’d like to carry with you?

C: The happiness.

J: Do you think you can do that?

C: Yeah.

J: What happens next?

C: I feel like I’m leaving.

J: Would you like to see where you go?

C: Yeah…

J: Where do you go?

C: (long paus) I don’t see anything else.

J: Do you feel anything?

C: Peaceful.

J: Just allow whatever needs to unfold to unfold around you. And if there’s any last memories you’d like to visit, go ahead and allow that to unfold as well. Is there anything you feel needs to surface for you, or needs to be visited?

C: No.

We had come to the end of our session, and I brought her back to the cloud and back into the room, reminding her that she can take the happiness and forgiveness and all of the learning experiences she gained from this journey with her. This was an exciting experience, and my first time as a hypnotherapist with a client who witnessed a more unpleasant death. It was a great learning experience for me, and I’m grateful that she was not negatively affected by what she witnessed, which is obviously very important!

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