Healing the Family and Healing the Self

Healing the Family and Healing the Self

Rose came in for an expanded healing hypnosis session looking for clarity and direction in her life. She grew up with many challenges from her mother and grandmother that impacted her adult life, and she hoped to alleviate some of that.

Names have been changed for privacy.

When I brought Rose down from the cloud, I asked her what she was experiencing.

R: I’m on the ground.

J: What do you see?

R: Just green.

J: What kind of green?

R: Soft grass.

J: Can you see what else is out there along with the soft grass?

R: I’m scared.

J: What's got you scared?

R: Being able to go… see things again… 

J: What do you think you're going to see?

R: Earlier version of my mom.

J: What might happen if you see that earlier version of your mom?

R: It's sad.

J: Can you allow it to be sad?

R: (pause) Yes.

J: What else might happen if you see that version of your mom?

R: I want to go back.

J: Where do you want to go?

R: Be little again.

J: Would you like to revisit a memory from when you were little?

R: Yes.

J: Go ahead and allow yourself to go to whatever memory comes to your mind first. Let me know when you're there.

R: I’m there.

J: What do you see?

R: We go for a walk. I’m in a stroller.

J: You with your mom?

R: Yes.

J: Just the two of you?

R: Yes. Walking the dog. Watching. Me in a stroller, mom pushing, the dog on the leash. Big dog.

J: What are you feeling?

R: It's really bumpy, but I feel safe. It's just mom.

J: What's significant about this memory?

R: It's just her and I. No grandma. (pause) Grandma's got to go first.

J: What do you mean by that?

R: Her mom died to feel free. Grandma has to die.

J: Has she made things pretty hard for you guys?

R: Yes.

J: Where's your grandma right now?

R: Her home.

J: Would you like to stay in this memory for a little while? Or see what happens next?

R: We can keep going.

J: Would you like to talk to your grandma? Or would you like to talk to your mom?

R: Mom.

J: What version of your mom would you like to talk to?

R: In her current… I want to tell her she's safe. But I want to jump to where... when she came home... from Florida with my brother.

J: You can go there. Let me know when you're there.

R: I’m there with her.

J: And what do you notice?

R: She's so scared.

J: What's she scared of?

Losing her boy.

J: Why would she lose him?

R: She's running... from his father. She runs home to grandma. It doesn’t help. Grandma can't help her.

J: And what happens?

R: I need a different memory.

J: Okay. Go wherever you feel safe. And just remember you're always safe, no matter what. These memories don't change anything about who you are. And they can't hurt who you are. They can't take anything away from who you are.

This is a great example of how the client is always in control of the session. She was aware that the emotional toll this memory held was more than she wanted to experience at that time, and was able to redirect it. It’s a common concern that comes up when people ask me about Expanded Healing Hypnosis—what if they experience something that’s too hard to face? And the answer is exactly how Rose handled it—she expressed that she wanted to move, and we moved.

I also make sure to remind the client’s subconscious mind that they’re safe in situations like these.

J: Have you moved to a different memory?


J: Where are you now?

R: In the gray house on the phone with my brother. The first time I got to hear his voice.

J: What’s he saying?

R: He says things… but… He’s being watched. So… he’s nervous.

J: Who’s watching him?

R: His father.

J: What happens next?

R: He says what he needs to to get off the phone. His father is staring at him. He’s nervous.

J: And then what happens?

I say goodbye. And get excited to send a picture of myself as a child.

J: What other things are you feeling?

R: I’m happy. I got to hear him.

J: Have you been separated before?

R: Always.

J: Why’s that?

R: His father won. He’s got custody.

J: How are you feeling right now in this moment?

R: Like.. I’m trying to find my brother's energy and I can't feel it.

J: What would you do if you could feel his energy?

R: Just see if he's alive. And what happened to him.

J: When's the last time you saw him or spoke to him?

R: Phone call.

J: From that memory?

R: Yeah.

J: How long ago was that?

R: He was seven.

J: How old were you?

R: That's tricky. She was seven.

Sometimes clients refer to themselves in third person, as though they’re watching the scene unfold from outside of themselves.

J: Is she you? Or who is she?

R: A version.

J: Where would you like to go next?

R: The cafeteria. Grade school.

J: Tell me about the cafeteria. What's going on?

R: I'm just safe there. With my twins.

Her “twins” are her best friends.

R: We say anything, we feel connected. Then we go outside, the playground. Dig in the dirt, make potions. We are witches.

J: Do you believe you're magical?

R: Yes.

J: Good. What's significant about this memory?

R: Them. The twins. They’re part of our journey. I run with them. Each one. Each hand. I run. 

J: What's the most significant thing you're feeling in this moment? With this memory?


J: The twins love you.

R: Yes.

J: And you love them.

R: Yes.

J: I'd like you to just tune into that feeling. Let it fill you. Notice where you feel it in your body. Just hold it. Soak that in. (pause) When's a time, another time, when you've felt that love?

R: We went camping. I lied about going camping. There's no service when you go. I have so much fun. On the way back, we turn our phones back on, and it… It goes off like crazy. Grandma found out I wasn't at so-and-so’s house. I'm getting screamed at by her mother. But I look over at Abby. She holds my pinky. It didn't matter how much her mom yelled. Or how scared I felt. We were together and that’s all that mattered. It was worth it.

J: What kind of lesson do you think you can pull from that memory? Maybe a message you could take from that and tell yourself today?

R: My mom just needs me to grow with her and my children.

J: And what kind of person do you need to be to fill that role?

R: I will be mother to her. To them. To him. To me. Patience. Connection. That is the purpose.

J: Do you feel ready for all of those things?

R: Never ready, but... Ready enough.

J: Is there anything that you feel like you could be stronger in order to fill this role?

R: She's strong. I can do this.

J: And what about your grandmother? Where does she fit into this picture?

R: It's too much. Where the other… The one and then the other. You have to get them apart. Connect with them. And then they can be whole.

This is the tricky thing about being the facilitator of these sessions, especially when clients go deep like Rose did. I did my best to understand what she was conveying and ask the right questions or give the best responses without pulling her from the experience.

J: Are they apart?

R: Yes.

J: Would you like to talk to your mother or your grandmother?

R: (pause) I love all that you are. They way your mind works. Protects you from the things that you cannot bear. You remember what I cannot. You know places. You know phone numbers. You know names. No matter how much I was angry and mean and awful to you, you're never to me. You deserve so much more than this life has given you. I’m so sorry you're stuck. (becoming emotional) So sorry your parents aren't there to make you feel safe. Only anxious. You could never feel stable because you were always moved around. The moment you felt safe everything changed. I'm sorry all of the men hurt you. And that you lost your boy. You have me now though. (begins taking slow deep breaths)

J: Yeah, just take a few nice deep breaths.

R: I regret not going with you. When you asked me to go on your trip. Grandma stayed home. I felt like I should have gone. I didn't.

J: Why didn't you?

R: I knew she was sick. I knew it wasn't her. I knew she was going to run.

J: What do you think would have happened if you went on that trip with her?

R: I wouldn't have been safe. She didn't know where to go.

J: So we can probably say you did do the right thing by not going on that trip. Would you agree? 

R: Yeah.

J: Are you able to let go of the regret? Knowing that you did the right thing.

R: Yes.

J: Just go ahead and forgive yourself. You're always doing the best that you can with what you know how to do. Do you feel like you had a good mother growing up?

R: She did the best she could with what she had.

J: Yes, she did. How do you feel about how you were mothered?

R: It was unconditional love. No matter what I did. I could do no wrong in her eyes. I was perfect. 

J: Do you agree with her?

R: No.

J: Do you love yourself the way she loves you? And the way she loved you?

R: We're trying. But not currently.

J: What are some ways you could love yourself more?

R: Being present. Meditating. Going outside and sitting in the grass, and meditating.

J: What happens when you meditate? What do you feel or experience?

R: You all connect. Mind and body, spirit. You make connections that you need to get peace. You connect to our past. To learn for the future. I need to meditate.

J: Would you like to go to that grass now? Connect with that energy?

R: Yes.

J: I'd like you to tune into your body. And feel that grass beneath you. Fill yourself with that love. That love you felt from your mom. That love you felt from the twins. Feel that connection that you have with all the special people in your life. Feel that oneness. Knowing that we are all connected. All of our stories intertwine. All of our energy is connected to that one energy flowing through all of us. And that love that you feel between you and the twins, between you and your mother. That love you feel with your family. Connect to that love, and feel it as if it's your own. And turn it inward as a love you feel for yourself. Unconditional. Just as you are. Loving yourself for doing the best you can all the time. For overcoming so many challenges. For continuing to learn and grow and become stronger every day. Recognize how much there is about you to love. Sit with that for as long as you need. When you are ready to move on you can let me know.

R: (pause) I’m ready.

J: Would you like to move into a time and space beyond this current lifetime? Either into a past life or some time in between? Maybe see if there’s any answers there. Anything you want to learn about with your grandmother, your mother, anything you would like to learn.

R: Yes.

J: What questions do you have that you would like to follow back to explore and find the answers to?

R: What am I supposed to do? What is my purpose? Where do we go now?

I invite her to take those questions with her back to the cloud and imagine the cloud transporting her to where she needs to go to find those answers. I brought her down from the cloud like before and asked her what she was experiencing.

R: I'm confused. I see the sun. And when I fell, deeper, I went into… flames. Like, the Bible story. Three men in a fiery furnace.

J: What does that story mean to you?

R: I’m never alone.

J: Do you ever feel alone?

R: As a child. We were lonely.

J: Do you feel alone now?

R: No.

J: Do you still see flames?

R: No.

J: Where are you now?

R: Jared’s holding me. (Husband—keep in mind I changed names for privacy) And I want to go home. He holds me. And I cry. Our souls connect. Yin and Yang.

J: What does home feel like to you?

R: Unconditional love. Warm. Safe. Can't grow unless we’re safe.

J: How do you think that relates to your purpose?

R: We have to grow the babies. Let them feel safe. So I can feel safe.

J: Can you give the same nurturing love to yourself that you give to them?

R: I have to earn it.

J: Do you feel you've earned it?

R: No.

J: Why not?

R: They're the only things I have to show with my life. They're the only good things I have. Everything else has crumbled.

J: When things crumble down, what better opportunity than to rebuild, right?

R: Yes. I’m picturing… Mount Olympus?

J: Tell me more about that.

R: I'm not sure where we're at, but... it's... Like Greek mythology in a way.

J: Do you think this is a memory you're visiting right now?

R: Very old. A very new memory. One of the first in the timeline.

J: Tell me more about who you are.

R: Hercules?

This happens in many past life regressions, where the subject visits a memory of themselves as someone famous. Many hypnotherapists agree that the subject wasn’t actually that particular famous person in a past life, but instead they relate to the story of the famous person. Remember, the main goal of these sessions is to gain understanding and find healing, which are uncovered through symbols. In Rose’s case, Hercules was an important symbol she could relate to and needed to see in order to gain more clarity and understanding.

J: What does that feel like?

R: Strength. There’s a hidden weakness. Weakness is my mom.

J: Why is your mom your weakness?

R: I love her so much. It’s sad... that she didn't get to be the mother. Only the sister.

J: I would like you to connect with your mom's energy. Maybe take that with you back onto the cloud. And invite that cloud to travel back to a memory where you two are together in a past life. Allow that cloud to just float to wherever that memory is. And allow it to come to a stop. Connecting to your mother. When you've arrived wherever this place is, in this memory, let me know what you see.

R: It's one of our earliest memories. We go... to the movie store. It's late and it's dark. But it's just she and I. We go get our hair done. I'm scared, but... I feel safe with her.

J: What's significant about this memory?

R: It's one of the few we have with just mom and I.

J: Would you like to visit a lifetime before this lifetime?

R: Yes.

J: See where you've been together. As different people and different experiences. If you'd like to go there, go ahead and get back on your cloud. Leave this lifetime behind for a moment. Travel back through your soul's memories. Far back as you'd like to go.

R: There's a library. With a ladder. A really tall wall. So many books. Very dusty. I have one eyeglass spectacle. I’m too old to climb up the stairs anymore. But I sit at a desk and I write. With a pen. With a feather. I dip and I write. And I feel and I remember. I dip and I write. These are my books. Not all of them. There’s a special shelf for them.

J: What are you writing about?

R: Many things. Current events. News. I work for a newspaper.

J: You enjoy writing?

R: Yes.

J: Tell me a little bit more about you. What was your life like? What brought you here?

R: We were a doctor. Midwife. My wife is… my mom.

Her voice was quiet and slightly muffled through this part, so it’s possible she wasn’t referring to herself as the doctor/midwife in this past life memory, but I did the best I could to follow.

J: What was your relationship like?

R: All the things I couldn't do. She did. Things that I forgot, she remembered. I didn't see, she’d see. I couldn't say, she did. She delivered the babies. She lost her baby. My son is gone. There was a war. (pause) My wife is gone.

J: How are you feeling now?

R: Sad.

J: What are you most sad about?

R: (emotional) I miss my wife.

J: I'd like you to rise up above this. Above this scene. As though you're an observer. Looking down on yourself and your library at your desk. Watching the sadness instead of feeling it. Knowing that your wife isn't actually gone. Just feels like she is. That's what happens when we're human. From up here, observing, I’d like you to remember how you're connected to all things. And even if something's gone on the physical, it doesn't mean it's gone. And that you come back again later. As mother and daughter. To have a whole new experience. How do you feel about the sadness now?

R: I’m not sad anymore.

J: Good. Would you like to explore a different life? Or a different memory?

R: We’re playing with our son. As a boy.

J: Tell me more about this. How you're feeling. What you're noticing.

R: I’m down on one knee. Talking to him. He's sad. Broke a toy. I rub his cheek, the tear away. Look at his eyes. They’re brown. He looks up at me. I fix the toy. In that moment I am his universe. I am his great. He gives me a hug and runs off to play. I stand back up and just smile at him. I’m so proud of that boy.

J: What else are you noticing and experiencing?

R: There’s a woman who walked outside with us. I’m not sure who she is.

J: What do you notice about her?

R: She feels like love. She comes out to just watch the boy with me play in the yard.

J: Do you know who she is?

R: I recognize her soul but not her story.

J: What do you recognize about her soul?

R: How she feels. She feels like... How this life felt. Snuggled underneath. Mother. She feels like home. She's got curly hair. Lots of it. Freckly cheeks. I think it's the daughter.

J: We're all connected. And what happens next?

R: I’m just enjoying the sunset.

J: Would you like to stay here a little longer?

R: Yes.

J: Let me know when you're ready to go.

R: (pause) I’m ready.

J: I'd like you to go back to your cloud and settle into that in-between place. Is there anything else you would like to learn or explore? Anywhere else you'd like to go. Anyone else you'd like to talk to.

R: I get it now.

J: Yeah?

R: When my aunt had days left, she said over and over, I'd save my boys. She had twin boys. Has twin boys. That’s all she said for three days before she died. I totally get it.

J: Tell me more about what you understand. What this means.

R: In the beginning and then in the end of life, all that matters is the connections. The children. The souls you're creating.

J: Do you think that's part of your purpose?

They're raising leaders. They are the great ones.

J: And do you believe that you're doing the best job you can do, and that you will do the best job you can do? Raising those leaders?

R: Yes.

J: While also helping to give your mother the love she deserves?

R: In time. I wanna protect the children. Son's not ready.

J: When you take your moments to go and meditate, I invite you to focus in on that unconditional love. And remember to always turn it inward. Unconditionally loving yourself. Filling yourself with that strength and that power. That's already in you. To raise those great leaders. (pause) What are you feeling in this moment now?

R: Peace.

J: Good. Is there anything else you'd like to learn or explore before we bring you back home? 

R: Is he... the one?

J: What do you feel?

R: He's here to teach us. Unconditional love. He’s trying.

J: What else are you noticing or feeling?

R: He needs it too. He doesn't feel loved. He feels pressure.

J: Does he love himself?

R: No.

J: We can never truly feel love unless we love ourselves. Maybe you can help him while you learn this too?

J: Yes. I’m ready to go home.

I brought her back to regular consciousness. I believe she received a lot of understanding and insight from both the past life experiences as well as her connection to her subconscious mind in this session. When we first met, she felt a calling to write a book. She reported back later that this session showed her that maybe it isn’t time for her to write a book, perhaps because she already lived that life. That opened the door for her to learn something new, and she ended up starting a new business.

This experience really illustrates how symbols, imagery, and memories will present themselves exactly when and how they’re needed for the client to gain healing and understanding.

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