I’ve had this ongoing question - what if there’s a narcissist in your life that you can’t get rid of? Like a parent, or a sibling, or an in-law, or the parent of your children? How do you deal with that?
Relationships with narcissists are abusive. Period. If you've just escaped from one, I send you all my love and healing energy as you recover and grow from that experience.
But, if you saw my recent story (posted on FB, IG, and TikTok @JamiChristine11 ), you'll see that my suggestion for how to deal with the narcissist is to love them.
Say WHAT? I know. How can you love someone who's put you through that kind of abuse?
With compassion. This person is living in turmoil. They're miserable, depleted of love, entrenched in darkness. That's why they behave in a way that some people could call downright evil. Evil thrives on darkness devoid of love.
Reacting with anger and hatred will only feed that evil. How do you spread darkness? By keeping the lights off.
So it only makes sense that if you want to dispel evil, you have to take away its power, and replace it with what it lacks, which is LOVE. If you want to get out of the darkness, you have to shine a LIGHT.
But then I thought, I don't have any narcissists in my immediate life. I've dealt with them before, but they're gone now, and I'm free from that drama. But I have some loved ones in my life who aren't so fortunate, and have to deal with this darkness on a regular basis. Sometimes that darkness spreads so thickly that it feels like it's sucking me into it, even though it's not mine!
Then, it hit me. What if my purpose in this person's life is to BE the one who sends the love to that narcissist? My loved ones are still recovering from the abuse. They need to spend time working on nurturing and healing their own hearts. During that period of growth, it's probably hard for them to send love to the person who hurt them and abused them. But, it isn't hard for me! This person didn't hurt me - I have no attachment to their drama! So I'm in a perfect place to send that love and light!
If you're involved with a person who is dealing with and healing from a narcissist, help them out by thinking kind, loving thoughts to that person, with all intentions of transmuting their darkness and, ultimately, healing their own darkened hearts.
If you want to delve deeper into this concept, I just discovered Aaron Abke on YouTube and this video really resonated with the concept I just shared: https://youtu.be/r6oiaCDuHpU